The 18th marks one month of our new family dynamic, and I believe we're going to do just fine. Little Ham and I have been working through control issues and how to handle shut downs, with some good progress.
And this morning we talked about how hard Mother's Day was last week. I asked him if he was struggling with it and he said, "yeah." I said it was a lot of pressure to put on someone who just arrived in a new home a week ago. He seemed to appreciate the fact that I noticed, and I told him how brave he was to put together cards and make his way through the holiday anyway.
Hamslice has been an absolute trooper through this process as well. He went from being 'in love' on day 1 to 'in hate' on day 3 to starting to figure it out this week.
In the mornings they like to go outside to pick up sticks and rocks as a way to earn some spending money. They have realized that teamwork is the way to greater profitability, and they are starting to communicate with a greater goal in mind. This is fixing many issues between the two of them, and it provides a way to soothe their constant competition for parental attention.
It feels like we're starting to become a family. =)
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Friday, May 06, 2016
And then there's this. (handkerchief please)
This weekend is Mother's Day, and I was not sure what to expect from Little Ham. Hamslice got the flu so I know there is no card coming home from school from him.
Little Ham... Well... see for yourself. *sniff*
Love that guy...
Little Ham... Well... see for yourself. *sniff*
Cookies, redux
Yesterday Little Ham and I did some good healing work together. Our work was in the morning, and after school he asked for two of my cookies, he ate them AND said they were good.
=)
=)
Thursday, May 05, 2016
An illustration, using cookies.
I've been getting some questions about what it looks like to take someone you don't know into your home and pretend to be a family after one fateful Monday night. Instead of trying to *actually* explain it, I'll tell you about making cookies.
On Saturday, I decided to make homemade cookies as a treat for my boys. Little Ham is very excited about cooking and wanted to help, so of course I let him. However, cookie baking is a pretty loaded subject for someone who has been through 6 homes. Apparently every single new mom he's had (including his biological grandma) made cookies together with him as an ice breaker.
While we were mixing ingredients, a lot of stories came out about who would let him snoop what during the process. Grandma let him eat butter and chocolate chips. Mom L let him have some of the batter, and so on. I made him wait to snoop until we were at the very last step before baking, which was not very popular -- someone was pretty sure he wanted to eat a whole stick of butter.
At the final taste/snoop time, Little Ham took a bite of dough and said "This tastes TERRIBLE" and spit it out. He then told me how much Mom L's cookies were better than mine.
I baked the cookies without his assistance, because he then wanted to leave to go play with Hamslice.
After the cookies were baked, he tried one and again insisted they were terrible and he couldn't even finish one.
The next day he forgot that they were my cookies, and he ate one and asked for another. I smiled hugely, and he then changed his mind and reminded me that the cookies are gross.
The next day, he took one store bought cookie in his lunch *and* one of mine, but I pretended to not notice. When I asked about the cookie later he insisted that he threw it in the trash.
When I brought this up in therapy, Little Ham told the therapist that Mom L's cookies were "Magical."
And so this is what it's like to have a new kid in your house who has a whole life they've already lived without you. It will take time and a lot of love, but I still believe that maybe in a year or two, he'll eat my cookies. Stay tuned.
On Saturday, I decided to make homemade cookies as a treat for my boys. Little Ham is very excited about cooking and wanted to help, so of course I let him. However, cookie baking is a pretty loaded subject for someone who has been through 6 homes. Apparently every single new mom he's had (including his biological grandma) made cookies together with him as an ice breaker.
While we were mixing ingredients, a lot of stories came out about who would let him snoop what during the process. Grandma let him eat butter and chocolate chips. Mom L let him have some of the batter, and so on. I made him wait to snoop until we were at the very last step before baking, which was not very popular -- someone was pretty sure he wanted to eat a whole stick of butter.
At the final taste/snoop time, Little Ham took a bite of dough and said "This tastes TERRIBLE" and spit it out. He then told me how much Mom L's cookies were better than mine.
I baked the cookies without his assistance, because he then wanted to leave to go play with Hamslice.
After the cookies were baked, he tried one and again insisted they were terrible and he couldn't even finish one.
The next day he forgot that they were my cookies, and he ate one and asked for another. I smiled hugely, and he then changed his mind and reminded me that the cookies are gross.
The next day, he took one store bought cookie in his lunch *and* one of mine, but I pretended to not notice. When I asked about the cookie later he insisted that he threw it in the trash.
When I brought this up in therapy, Little Ham told the therapist that Mom L's cookies were "Magical."
And so this is what it's like to have a new kid in your house who has a whole life they've already lived without you. It will take time and a lot of love, but I still believe that maybe in a year or two, he'll eat my cookies. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, May 03, 2016
A note about honeymooning
Much like being married, I don't know that there's a specific second when you know the honeymoon is over, it just sort of "occurs."
These last few days we have been tested by Little Ham, and to our credit, he's using his best material. However, he doesn't have any idea who he's dealing with here. Our ability to deflect meltdowns and oppositional behavior borders on professional level. He keeps trying to control us, but that just doesn't seem to work either.
It seems that we get long spurts of good behavior, peppered with humongous meltdowns.
Sound familiar?
We are also learning about tag teaming, where sometimes either Hambone or I will be at loggerheads with Little Ham, so the other takes over for the evening. That seems to diffuse further bad behavior, and gives both parent and child a chance to reset.
We had a tough Thursday last week and a tough Monday this week, but in between we have a lot of laughter and hugs and smiles. We are still enjoying ourselves very much.
These last few days we have been tested by Little Ham, and to our credit, he's using his best material. However, he doesn't have any idea who he's dealing with here. Our ability to deflect meltdowns and oppositional behavior borders on professional level. He keeps trying to control us, but that just doesn't seem to work either.
It seems that we get long spurts of good behavior, peppered with humongous meltdowns.
Sound familiar?
We are also learning about tag teaming, where sometimes either Hambone or I will be at loggerheads with Little Ham, so the other takes over for the evening. That seems to diffuse further bad behavior, and gives both parent and child a chance to reset.
We had a tough Thursday last week and a tough Monday this week, but in between we have a lot of laughter and hugs and smiles. We are still enjoying ourselves very much.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Brotherly love?
Today was Little Ham's first day of school. Oh such anxiety! Both boys were up at 5am, but Little Ham spent most of his time grooming for school. 45 minutes of hair combing, and packing/repacking his lunch box made him pretty busy. He wore his backpack most of the morning in order to be ready to leave at any time.
Finally to calm him, we left for school 10 minutes early, which meant 20 minutes of just waiting for the doors to open. He is SO excited!
Some of you have been asking how the 'sibling stuff' is going, and I will say it's a huge change. Hamslice and Little Ham bounce back and forth from Best Buds to Mortal Enemies several times each day, which has me and Hambone a bit bewildered. Hambone says it's normal boy kid stuff, so I'm just taking it as it comes. I have been measuring the ME time VS the BB times, and we do have a positive swing on the BB time, so I feel like we'll get there. They're doing special little boy friendship moves like showing each other their "business" and telling secrets.
Little Ham referred to Hambone and I as "Mom and Dad" when talking to his therapist on Monday, and when talking to the people at school. At home it's still "Ms. T" and "Mr. T" although I did hear a "Dad Hambone" slip out yesterday.
Current favorite activity to do together (besides the trampoline) is fishing in the pond behind our house. It's a nice quiet thing to do where they can just "be" without too much talking.
Finally to calm him, we left for school 10 minutes early, which meant 20 minutes of just waiting for the doors to open. He is SO excited!
Some of you have been asking how the 'sibling stuff' is going, and I will say it's a huge change. Hamslice and Little Ham bounce back and forth from Best Buds to Mortal Enemies several times each day, which has me and Hambone a bit bewildered. Hambone says it's normal boy kid stuff, so I'm just taking it as it comes. I have been measuring the ME time VS the BB times, and we do have a positive swing on the BB time, so I feel like we'll get there. They're doing special little boy friendship moves like showing each other their "business" and telling secrets.
Little Ham referred to Hambone and I as "Mom and Dad" when talking to his therapist on Monday, and when talking to the people at school. At home it's still "Ms. T" and "Mr. T" although I did hear a "Dad Hambone" slip out yesterday.
Current favorite activity to do together (besides the trampoline) is fishing in the pond behind our house. It's a nice quiet thing to do where they can just "be" without too much talking.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
"Oh my Gosh"
Little Ham has been working hard to integrate into the family. I am deeply impressed with his courage and resilience as he tackles yet *another* family (we are his 4th) and does his best to learn the rules and be friendly.
Yesterday I heard him muttering under his breath "Oh my gosh" over and over, which was a phrase I hadn't heard yet. It sounded peculiar -- not like his other phraseology and his intonation was the not the same as when he says other phrases. I listened and listened, and then realized that he was imitating *Me*.
With all of the unusual behavior in our family, I have muttered the phrase "Oh my gosh" as a little coping mechanism when things are just super bizarre. I must have been muttering this over and over this week as we were working on our family integration. It was adorable to hear it coming from this little guy and I choose to believe means I'm "in there" somewhere in his schema.
Yesterday Hamslice had "club friendship" which is his social thinking therapy group. At the end of group, his facilitators were beaming -- they couldn't believe how good his behavior was and how "in tune" he was with his group mates. This is what we were hoping for all this time.
Regarding "getting in there" with Little Ham, we had a good sign last night when we were reading before bed. Usually Hamslice leans against my shoulder and Little Ham sits to the side. Yesterday, Little Ham asked to sit on my lap and he leaned against my arm and did a snuggle for one full book. By the second book he wanted to sit on the floor, but I'll take a whole book's worth. =)
This morning at breakfast Little Ham was talking about his name, and how he didn't like his given first name. We talked about how we get to change it officially in 6 months and he gets to be "first name that you like" + "Our last name" and he his comment was, "Can we do it in one month?"
Honeymooning is great stuff. Hambone says "Wait till the honeymoon is over." He's probably right, however this part is pretty cool.
Yesterday I heard him muttering under his breath "Oh my gosh" over and over, which was a phrase I hadn't heard yet. It sounded peculiar -- not like his other phraseology and his intonation was the not the same as when he says other phrases. I listened and listened, and then realized that he was imitating *Me*.
With all of the unusual behavior in our family, I have muttered the phrase "Oh my gosh" as a little coping mechanism when things are just super bizarre. I must have been muttering this over and over this week as we were working on our family integration. It was adorable to hear it coming from this little guy and I choose to believe means I'm "in there" somewhere in his schema.
Yesterday Hamslice had "club friendship" which is his social thinking therapy group. At the end of group, his facilitators were beaming -- they couldn't believe how good his behavior was and how "in tune" he was with his group mates. This is what we were hoping for all this time.
Regarding "getting in there" with Little Ham, we had a good sign last night when we were reading before bed. Usually Hamslice leans against my shoulder and Little Ham sits to the side. Yesterday, Little Ham asked to sit on my lap and he leaned against my arm and did a snuggle for one full book. By the second book he wanted to sit on the floor, but I'll take a whole book's worth. =)
This morning at breakfast Little Ham was talking about his name, and how he didn't like his given first name. We talked about how we get to change it officially in 6 months and he gets to be "first name that you like" + "Our last name" and he his comment was, "Can we do it in one month?"
Honeymooning is great stuff. Hambone says "Wait till the honeymoon is over." He's probably right, however this part is pretty cool.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Day 3 and All's Well
Little Ham has been doing well here so far -- three nights in a row with no nightmares and no waking in the middle of the night to play with toys. He and Hamslice are also figuring out how to talk to each other with meaning. They are starting to have shared experiences and there is finally enough content to talk about that the conversation isn't just about "what I know" Vs. "what you know."
Hambone and I are amazed at how joyful it is to listen to the kids talk to *each other* instead of constantly to us. We had an actual sidebar conversation at dinner last night while the kids had their own conversation and that was like a whole new world for us.
Their favorite activities are "car trading" where they line up all their matchbox cars and trade for features like speed, color and shape and they are also riding bikes together a lot. We made up a new game yesterday with bounce discs to start building motor control/regulation in both of them and that went well. Oh and they are on the trampoline a lot too.
It is interesting to listen to Hamslice talk to Little Ham -- when he is using his 'best personality' he uses a lot of phrases that I say and redirects conversation like I do. I honestly was under the impression that he had no idea what I have ever said to him. It makes me feel all squishy inside.
Little Ham is very thoughtful, asking for ways to help with tasks that I'm working on, and opening/holding doors for everyone. He is working so hard right now to earn his place in this family, and I wish he knew that he doesn't need to earn his spot, that it has been here all along.
Anyway, all the experts say this is the Honeymoon phase and the real stuff is coming yet. I am not sure what the real stuff is going to be, or how bad, so I am documenting the good so we have a breadcrumb trail through whatever comes next.
Hambone and I are amazed at how joyful it is to listen to the kids talk to *each other* instead of constantly to us. We had an actual sidebar conversation at dinner last night while the kids had their own conversation and that was like a whole new world for us.
Their favorite activities are "car trading" where they line up all their matchbox cars and trade for features like speed, color and shape and they are also riding bikes together a lot. We made up a new game yesterday with bounce discs to start building motor control/regulation in both of them and that went well. Oh and they are on the trampoline a lot too.
It is interesting to listen to Hamslice talk to Little Ham -- when he is using his 'best personality' he uses a lot of phrases that I say and redirects conversation like I do. I honestly was under the impression that he had no idea what I have ever said to him. It makes me feel all squishy inside.
Little Ham is very thoughtful, asking for ways to help with tasks that I'm working on, and opening/holding doors for everyone. He is working so hard right now to earn his place in this family, and I wish he knew that he doesn't need to earn his spot, that it has been here all along.
Anyway, all the experts say this is the Honeymoon phase and the real stuff is coming yet. I am not sure what the real stuff is going to be, or how bad, so I am documenting the good so we have a breadcrumb trail through whatever comes next.
Monday, April 18, 2016
The Arrival
It took Little Ham and his social worker quite a while to navigate the airport and make their way to the house. They arrived at 2:30 am and I was up to greet them.
Little Ham's first thought was to give gifts to our family -- 1/2 bag of pistachios and 6 pieces of gum (two pieces for each of us, he figured). He then offered to sell all of his toys in a garage sale tomorrow to help raise money for our home.
We went upstairs right away for bed time. We read two books, Fly Guy and The Way I Feel and then I asked him if he was Mad/Sad/happy/Scared and he said he was happy. He fell right asleep and made it through the night with no nightmares and no incidents.
Off to a good start!
Little Ham's first thought was to give gifts to our family -- 1/2 bag of pistachios and 6 pieces of gum (two pieces for each of us, he figured). He then offered to sell all of his toys in a garage sale tomorrow to help raise money for our home.
We went upstairs right away for bed time. We read two books, Fly Guy and The Way I Feel and then I asked him if he was Mad/Sad/happy/Scared and he said he was happy. He fell right asleep and made it through the night with no nightmares and no incidents.
Off to a good start!
Midnight Delivery - the Ham Red Eye
Our new little ham's plane touches down at BWI in about 20 minutes. It's midnight, and I am the designated "waiter upper" for his arrival. And I am so excited I can hardly stand it.
He was supposed to arrive yesterday, but there was a massive blizzard in Colorado (on April 17!!) that cancelled every flight out of Denver until about 10 this morning. He and his social worker were lucky enough to get on a late night flight for tonight, so here we go!
He will get to the house around 1:30 AM and I get to put him to bed in his own room for the first time in our house. It's a big day...
Safe travels, little man. Your new Mom is waiting for you.
He was supposed to arrive yesterday, but there was a massive blizzard in Colorado (on April 17!!) that cancelled every flight out of Denver until about 10 this morning. He and his social worker were lucky enough to get on a late night flight for tonight, so here we go!
He will get to the house around 1:30 AM and I get to put him to bed in his own room for the first time in our house. It's a big day...
Safe travels, little man. Your new Mom is waiting for you.
Friday, April 08, 2016
And we have a New Ham to talk about
This morning we received confirmation that our little guy from Colorado is coming to visit on April 16 and that this visit (if it goes well) will morph into PLACEMENT automatically. So for those of you not "in the system," this means he has a 3 day visit but then does not go back to Colorado. He will stay with us for a month test, then contiguously for six months of foster placement and then into a permanent adoptive placement.
It's here! We get to be with our new son!
I am brimming with excitement, but of course it is only 6am so I have to wait until everyone else gets up to share the news. So I write it here! 17 months of planning and hoping and now it's happening!!!
AHHHHHH
It's here! We get to be with our new son!
I am brimming with excitement, but of course it is only 6am so I have to wait until everyone else gets up to share the news. So I write it here! 17 months of planning and hoping and now it's happening!!!
AHHHHHH
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Shocking innocence
Tonight at dinner we were reminiscing about how Hamslice used to eat squid when he was two years old. We showed him how he would have the tentacles from the squid hanging out of his mouth and he would laugh and chomp it down.
Hamslice's comment back was, "Yeah, and then I had sperm breath."
To which Hambone and I did our best to keep a neutral expression, and we asked simply "How so?"
And he very eloquently described how Sperm whales eat squid, therefore if you eat squid you will have the same breath as a Sperm whale. And while we were so relieved to hear this explanation, we know it's going to come up in conversation among adults for years to come.
Hamslice's comment back was, "Yeah, and then I had sperm breath."
To which Hambone and I did our best to keep a neutral expression, and we asked simply "How so?"
And he very eloquently described how Sperm whales eat squid, therefore if you eat squid you will have the same breath as a Sperm whale. And while we were so relieved to hear this explanation, we know it's going to come up in conversation among adults for years to come.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
It's Definitely a Control Thing
During the Blizzard of 2016, Hamslice wouldn't even consider wearing a jacket. He played in the snow with Crocks and no mittens. And then of course he got sick.
I've resorted to refusing to drive the car until he gets a jacket on, just to show who is in charge. My secret delight is to have him in the back seat, ready for school (but missing his coat). I get to pull halfway out of the garage and then *discover* his missing coat, and then refuse to drive anymore until he goes inside to get a coat.
Day 1 I read an entire magazine. Day 2, I got 5 pages of Rocks & Minerals under my belt before he caved. Each episode takes less time.
I. WILL. WIN.
mwha ha ha.
Monday, February 15, 2016
It's a Control Thing, or is he a Junkie?
With all the snow days (hello two more this week) we have been a little more lax with our tablet and computer gaming policies. Seriously, we can only play SO MANY board games in a week before we can't stand any more.
And we have noticed there is *something* about the video games that act like THC or heroin or something in our little guy's brain, because he can't stop playing. Furthermore, his life seems to revolve around playing to the point where he tries to manipulate other areas of his life to get more game time. Consider this conversation:
We have even made him run on the treadmill for tablet time, which he will do for 90 minutes in a stretch just to get 30 minutes of tablet time.
The only other place I've seen this single minded drive has been with drug addicted adults and teens. This kid has dedicated his life to scoring time on the tablet, and then when he DOES get the tablet, he plays the most mindless games. Stuff without a plot, and just explosion after explosion. He drifts off to a place I don't understand.
I am so not an 8 year old boy.
I've been trying to figure out if it's a control issue outside of the game, like maybe he feels he is manipulating adults by scoring tablet time, because he knows we don't like him to use it. Once I explained to him that tablet time is at my sole discretion and that he can't "make" me give it to him, he calmed down a bit.
But um... so far 34 requests for tablet already today and it's 1pm.
*sigh*
And we have noticed there is *something* about the video games that act like THC or heroin or something in our little guy's brain, because he can't stop playing. Furthermore, his life seems to revolve around playing to the point where he tries to manipulate other areas of his life to get more game time. Consider this conversation:
"Mom, can I play tablet?"
"Not right now"
"Can I play Legos?"
"Yes"
"How long will I need to play Legos in order to earn tablet time?"
"It doesn't work that way"
"What do I have to build then, in order to earn tablet time?"If I wanted to keep going with this conversation I could fill entire days with banal discussion about *any other* activity may be parlayed into earning tablet time. For instance, "If I eat 5 brussels sprouts, can I get 10 minutes of tablet time?"
We have even made him run on the treadmill for tablet time, which he will do for 90 minutes in a stretch just to get 30 minutes of tablet time.
The only other place I've seen this single minded drive has been with drug addicted adults and teens. This kid has dedicated his life to scoring time on the tablet, and then when he DOES get the tablet, he plays the most mindless games. Stuff without a plot, and just explosion after explosion. He drifts off to a place I don't understand.
I am so not an 8 year old boy.
I've been trying to figure out if it's a control issue outside of the game, like maybe he feels he is manipulating adults by scoring tablet time, because he knows we don't like him to use it. Once I explained to him that tablet time is at my sole discretion and that he can't "make" me give it to him, he calmed down a bit.
But um... so far 34 requests for tablet already today and it's 1pm.
*sigh*
Monday, February 01, 2016
SO MUCH SNOW!!
Today is the first time in 11 days that Hamslice is back in school. He had off starting the Friday prior to the storm, and then all of last week. By Thursday afternoon he looked at me and declared, "Mom I don't know how much more of this I can take!"
However, this snow storm gave him the opportunity to shovel, build snowmen and sled a little bit. This is all pretty exciting stuff for a little guy. He was pretty sure he would hate sledding until he actually tried it.
I suspect that he was doing most outdoor activities solely to get some hot chocolate afterward, but that's OK by me.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Colorado Update
So we spent two months exactly in the vortex of emotions that follows when there is no communication about someone you care deeply about. Yesterday we finally heard back.
It turns out that our little guy had been given to another family and our adoption was "off" for this lengthy period. No one told us about this decision. Over the course of these two months, THAT family disappeared somehow and now we are back "on".
We are at a disadvantage because the whole group really wants to adopt him into a Colorado family. The distance has been an issue from the get-go.
This is all very confusing for us, and hits the extremes "up and down," but we persevere. Please keep us in your thoughts...
It turns out that our little guy had been given to another family and our adoption was "off" for this lengthy period. No one told us about this decision. Over the course of these two months, THAT family disappeared somehow and now we are back "on".
We are at a disadvantage because the whole group really wants to adopt him into a Colorado family. The distance has been an issue from the get-go.
This is all very confusing for us, and hits the extremes "up and down," but we persevere. Please keep us in your thoughts...
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Bittersweet Holidays
As I alluded in my last post, we have been working for the last 6 months with a little fellow in Colorado who has grown very dear to us. We were in the process of adopting him, and had gotten to the point where the Colorado child services had our bank account number to wire funds for the adoption. They asked what airport to they would need to fly him into, and we had put clothes in the dresser we had picked out for this little guy. We even bought him a special night light because we knew he was afraid of the dark.
Suddenly right before Thanksgiving, we were told the adoption was not going to go through. No good reasons, no let down, just NO, and then there was no further contact between anyone on the adoption team from Colorado. We had just come back from a visit where we had held him in our arms. Three days later they said no, and then he disappeared.
We are working our way through the shock and grief, while surrounded by holiday festivities. It's a complicated time with oscillating feelings of loss and hope that maybe they just need to have some internal meetings and we will still hear something.
There are so many things we don't understand. Please keep us in your prayers during this time.
Suddenly right before Thanksgiving, we were told the adoption was not going to go through. No good reasons, no let down, just NO, and then there was no further contact between anyone on the adoption team from Colorado. We had just come back from a visit where we had held him in our arms. Three days later they said no, and then he disappeared.
We are working our way through the shock and grief, while surrounded by holiday festivities. It's a complicated time with oscillating feelings of loss and hope that maybe they just need to have some internal meetings and we will still hear something.
There are so many things we don't understand. Please keep us in your prayers during this time.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Break On Through to the Other Side
In the spirit of The Doors song, we have broken through to the other side of normal this year with such enthusiasm and shock that my head is spinning. We zoomed right from Abnormal to Regular.
Indeed, everyone who bandied about the "A" word earlier has retracted, and now we are working on just the regular stuff of having an 8 year old boy. And it is bewildering to me to go from the squeeze of "he needs treatment and drugs" to "Are you afraid to let him get a B on his science project." "Why are you helicopter parenting him?"
I mean, of COURSE he can get a B on his science project. Or an F. Who the F cares? Compared to people thinking he would not be able to survive in standard classroom, the grades are just silly to me.
But I need to adjust my thinking from "How do I convince people that he's normal?" to "What would a regular 8 year old need from his parents?" It's a welcome, welcome change.
Stand down, Mom. It's going to be OK.
And as I say this, there's a little fellow in Colorado who's going to need some of my attention very soon. On to our next adventure!
Indeed, everyone who bandied about the "A" word earlier has retracted, and now we are working on just the regular stuff of having an 8 year old boy. And it is bewildering to me to go from the squeeze of "he needs treatment and drugs" to "Are you afraid to let him get a B on his science project." "Why are you helicopter parenting him?"
I mean, of COURSE he can get a B on his science project. Or an F. Who the F cares? Compared to people thinking he would not be able to survive in standard classroom, the grades are just silly to me.
But I need to adjust my thinking from "How do I convince people that he's normal?" to "What would a regular 8 year old need from his parents?" It's a welcome, welcome change.
Stand down, Mom. It's going to be OK.
And as I say this, there's a little fellow in Colorado who's going to need some of my attention very soon. On to our next adventure!
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
"Just the Essentials"
This week Hamslice was experimenting with "Moving to Coleman's House," where he wanted to go live with our neighbor for a week or so.
My very determined little boy packed a cooler (the one with a handle and wheels) as a suitcase and headed down the driveway. He stopped halfway down and turned around to get an item that he felt he he couldn't leave without. One more stop during the next trek down the driveway for a second essential, and then he gave up and went inside to play Legos.
Hambone and I forgot all about it until today, when I saw the cooler on the porch and went to put it away.
I was very curious what his "essentials" were, so I looked inside. What I found floored me. Really to the core.
I found a bottle of water and a Bible.
God bless, Hamslice.
My very determined little boy packed a cooler (the one with a handle and wheels) as a suitcase and headed down the driveway. He stopped halfway down and turned around to get an item that he felt he he couldn't leave without. One more stop during the next trek down the driveway for a second essential, and then he gave up and went inside to play Legos.
Hambone and I forgot all about it until today, when I saw the cooler on the porch and went to put it away.
I was very curious what his "essentials" were, so I looked inside. What I found floored me. Really to the core.
I found a bottle of water and a Bible.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Getting Some Hobbies
As a pure intellectual, Hamslice so far has poo-pooed all normal hobbies such as Legos, toys in general, hanging out and relaxing, using the toilet, and eating. He thrives on liking nothing and making sure we all know about it.
Last week he watched Home on the Range, which has a 2.5 minute Yodel in it. And doggone it if he doesn't love yodeling. Every time we get in the car, he sets the DVD to play the yodel scene. Over. and Over. Again. I can now sing along note for note with the yodel, which I am secretly a little proud of.
We also went to the Renaissance Festival last weekend and he really wanted a wizard cloak, wand and wizard hat. We skeptically bought them, figuring this would last 10 minutes like everything else, but he has been wearing the wizard gear for a full week now.
He tried to bring it all to school, but I suggested that school is a wizard-free zone. He said, "by that reasoning, then I am no longer allowed in school because I AM A WIZARD!"
And here is our dark wizard being photobombed by a giant in a sleeveless shirt.
Last week he watched Home on the Range, which has a 2.5 minute Yodel in it. And doggone it if he doesn't love yodeling. Every time we get in the car, he sets the DVD to play the yodel scene. Over. and Over. Again. I can now sing along note for note with the yodel, which I am secretly a little proud of.
We also went to the Renaissance Festival last weekend and he really wanted a wizard cloak, wand and wizard hat. We skeptically bought them, figuring this would last 10 minutes like everything else, but he has been wearing the wizard gear for a full week now.
He tried to bring it all to school, but I suggested that school is a wizard-free zone. He said, "by that reasoning, then I am no longer allowed in school because I AM A WIZARD!"
And here is our dark wizard being photobombed by a giant in a sleeveless shirt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)