Tuesday, August 13, 2019

The Donkey Debacle

In a burst of over confidence after having such an enjoyable time with our new goats, I volunteered to take a pair of un-homed Donkeys from the animal rescue in PA as well. They were to be miniature donkeys, pets if you will, and they were described as the greatest family entertainment since Walt Disney.

The donkeys arrived by horse trailer in the middle of a dark and stormy Sunday night while the boys were away at camp, As soon as the donkeys exited the trailer, they looked at each other as a bolt of lightening streaked across the sky and HHEEEEE HAWWWED as loudly and as many times as they could without passing out. I have never heard an animal make a sound louder than these donkeys. Hambone and I looked at each other with grave uncertainty.

The animal rescue people mentioned that these donkeys were intact males, "Jacks" if you will. And then they got in their truck and left us with a couple of royal Jack asses.  All through the night and the next day we heard voluminous HEE HAWWWING and the donkeys fought with each other as hard as they could. For instance, one would sidle up to the other, shoulder to flank in an adorable manner, and then reach down with teeth bared to bite the hell out of the other's leg. Or they would run up to each other and bite each others' necks and backs.

The Donkey Rage spread out to the goats and chickens as well. The only person who enjoyed the donkeys was Elwood, who would goad the donkeys into chasing him along the fence. Elwood the dog was sure this was a game, but judging by the donkeys' eyes, this was a murder mission. Lucky for all, the fence kept them separated.

We also started getting a few passive aggressive texts from the neighbors about the extreme noise of the donkeys. The noise just never got better.

That Wednesday, just a few days from drop off day, we begged the rescue to take the donkeys back. Mercifully, the trailer arrived a few hours later to take one of them away. The second left on that Sunday just a few hours after the boys returned from camp.

And that was the donkey adventure. Memorable. Noisy. Brief.

And the neighbors rejoiced.