Monday, July 23, 2007

The Final Countdown...

Today I realized that it is only five weeks and five days until my due date. Hot holy damn, am I ready.

Five weeks and five days from now I'll be able to lie down without getting heartburn, and I'll be able to roll over without a six pound lump rotating in the opposite direction in my gut, kicking my bladder in protest.

Plus, of course, I get to meet this kid who has been on my mind so much these last several months. That will be interesting too...

But I have to say that really, it's a tie between meeting him and not having heartburn anymore.

Where are my Rolaids?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Stretch marks, AWESOME

In one of my more fabulous moments, I was watching TV with Hambone last night with my shirt riding up over my belly.

Hambone commented that it looked like I had a stretch mark or three on my belly. Horrified, I denied it and claimed it was simply a red mark from the elastic on my shorts.

Before I went to bed, I checked for myself, and sure enough, three of these offensive little buggers had taken up residence on the dark side of my belly (the part I can't see unless I use a mirror)

This morning I looked at my belly in the mirror, and LO and BEHOLD, during the night the underside of my belly became a fairly accurate representation of a map of the Mississippi River Delta. Seriously, there are more than thirty stretch marks down there.

And here I thought I'd make it with my belly skin in tact. Heh. Think again...

Friday, July 06, 2007

I Miss My Feet

My ultra-huge belly has started posing practical problems, such as making me unable to reach my feet. Currently I have a bushy ring of leg hair around each ankle, where I can't get low enough with the razor.

Some people (I hear) get pedicures from their husbands at this point in their pregnancy, but Hambone has moved more into supporting me by doing laundry and dishes, leaving me and my feet to contend with each other.

Last week I tried to clip my big toe nails, and I successfully trimmed the left one. When I got to the right side, the baby shifted while I was in the middle of a clip, and I wound up cutting off half of my toenail.


Six weeks to go.