Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Two steps forward...

We were successful in postponing the forensic interview -- Little Ham is not in the mood to talk to anyone besides "normal people" which means he blew off his interview with our social worker, refused to talk to his therapist, and so on. He seems to have decided he is cured all by himself.

Of course, he isn't.

We are beginning to spot mis-wired neural pathways from his troubled past such as:
  • Trust -- he has no idea how this works
  • How to disagree in a constructive way -- right now it devolves immediately to screaming
  • How to be friends with family -- it's a constant struggle for power, as if that is all there is to being in a family.

 It will be a long time before he realizes that there's no "winning" at family, you just get to be together. The constant struggle for victory is very draining on the rest of us. Some of it is age -- we see this from Hamslice, however Little Ham has an extra dose of it.

I have learned though, that the key is "small doses of Mom." If I decide to spend a super fun all day interactive day with these boys, they resent it almost as soon as I begin. Their day is spent finding fault with everything I do, and blaming me for all things in the universe.

Days work better with Mom at the computer, checking in with the boys from time to time, and the boys do their thing. It's an adjustment, but I am also realizing it's the key to a little freedom for me as well. 

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