Tomorrow marks our 2 month anniversary of being a foursome. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but are figuring out some of the causes of behaviors. For Little Ham, the issue is that he has shame about his many family losses, choosing to blame himself for all of it. He talks about being a bad baby, and being a bad kid often when he is really upset. This means any discipline that we impose reinforces his 'bad kid' idea, and makes things way more intense.
We've found that if we warn that 'a consequence' will happen if a behavior continues, the behavior stops immediately. His goal is to be not only a good kid, but a 'perfect kid'. This in and of itself may cause problems along the way, but at least we know what he wants more than anything else. If we show the good kid path, he is likely to follow.
Hang in there Little Ham, we're catching on...
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