Deposing Woody Allen

During the course of Hamslice's treatment and further assessments, we're learning that his giant brain is causing the following combination of adverse sensory issues:

• Visual Hyperstimulation
• Auditory Hyperstimulation
• Vestibular Hyperstimulation
• Proprioceptive Hypostimulation

In an nutshell, this means that everything he sees, feels and hears drives him slightly crazy. He also has no idea where his body is most of the time, so that makes him very nervous about movements such as leaning, balancing, floating on his back and so on.

So basically, without treatment, he would turn into Woody Allen. (Thanks to Nina for connecting the dots here.)

We also found it ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING that the treatment for this exact set of symptoms is to get him outside doing things like mowing the lawn, vacuuming, weeding, and walking the dog. And I am completely not sh*tting you about this.

I started laughing when the Occupational Therapist described the kinds of activities that would help him -- she said it in all clinical terms, but then demonstrated the movements, and I was like ... Oh. I recognize those.

And immediately, Hambone and I felt like Hamslice needed a BIG dose of therapy, so we bought a house in the country (Sparks, to be exact) with a huge lawn to mow, and lots of painting and repairs to do. Oh yes, we'll fix that boy up in a jiffy. 

So, we leave the city behind us. We're projecting a move date in about 12 months, and are full committed to rushing the project to get in there sooner. Onto a healthier life for us all. Exurbia, here we come!