Saturday, November 19, 2016

Normal people advice

Hamslice asked a few weeks ago to see his old therapist -- said he had a things he wanted to talk with her about, so yesterday was his appointment. At the end, the therapist had us both sit together and talk about how things are going in our family.

Hamslice had ideas that he wanted to spend more time with Mom and less with Little Ham, and maybe some time with Dad too.

The therapist then started asking me "what hobbies and activities do you do together with your children" and for the life of me I couldn't think of a thing. The session then turned a little judgey and uncomfortable for me. Hamslice had several ideas of things we could do together, and I was thrilled to hear his thoughts.

Of course the first thing I did was come home and yell at Hambone "Why don't we do anything with our kids!" and his response was "like what."  And of course that didn't help. It just meant that he wouldn't have been helpful in the session either.

I've been rolling this over and over in my head, and I think it's like last year when the school administration told me to "stop helicopter parenting" and I was so overjoyed that they felt that *I* was the problem (and not Hamslice). Maybe this little judgement session was a sign that our family is finally ready to start having hobbies and living like a normal group of people.

If you think about it, we have not been able to do *any* family activities as of yet due to the behavior issues we have had before us. Anywhere we went was met with fury and tantrums from one or both boys. And Hamslice's refusal to enjoy any activity prior to Little Ham's arrival, well that has been lifelong.

So, now, are we free to try things? Actual activities? fun?

Sounds too good to be true, but I'm game.

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